The Caffeinated Writer

Yes, it is a new year. It has been a hot minute since I have stayed up until midnight intentionally and that did not change last night. However, the fireworks being set off in my apartment complex’s very small courtyard (including a couple tall trees, think fire hazard) right outside my bedroom window guaranteed that both me and my child were awake when the New Year rang in. Don’t take this as a complaint against fireworks in general. It happens twice a year and I am not a party pooper in that respect. My complaint is primarily with the apartment’s very thin windows which have absolutely NO noise canceling qualities whatsoever. And the fact that my neighbors like to set them off on the steps of our shared second floor porch and I worry about a fire catching on our roof. Once those things shoot out, you really have no control over their direction. They don’t make the more responsible choice of taking them into the parking lot, at least, or even out onto the side road (not so heavily traversed) right out front of our complex. But my time at this apartment complex is numbered. 5 months left.

It is a new year now. New Year. I feel like I have definitely made some positive changes in my life over the last couple months, so I can’t say “old me,” but I still have the same mess in my apartment. And that is ok. This is the new me speaking. The new me knows that this mess is about to change. This new me says that I don’t need a week or two off to make a dent in this mess. (I’ve been off the last couple weeks and the mess really has just blown up a bit with my attempts at something called cleaning out and organizing.) The new me knows that I am ready to try and make specific choices in my currently limited living situation to make changes where I have identified specific hindrances in my productivity and health situation (both mental and physical). I am quite impatient for my new planner to come in. But I am not waiting for it to come in to make these changes.

But why did I not spend more time cleaning during my two weeks off? Well, I had a test to study and take, I had documents to gather and submit for my pre-approval process to get a house, I had a well-kid check up for my kid, my kid’s passport to apply for, and my kid has been off of school for a whole week plus holidays and I’ve spent much of her week off walking her to the park. She is gradually learning how to say hello first to the new friends she finds at the park, and I get to spend that time in prayer, spiritual devotion, and reading. Until her hands start giving way on the monkey bars and I have to run around the set to catch her before she falls. And then I walk her back (she rides a jogging stroller) home. It is about a 30-35 minute walk one way. I’m about ready to start jogging some of it.

I go back to work tomorrow, but I don’t see kids until Thursday. This is a good thing. It slowly acclimates us teachers back into work without throwing us to the wolves after such a relaxing time away. This will also likely mean an earlier release time tomorrow and Wednesday given that we won’t be waiting for kids to be released to their bus routes/car rider/walker departure times. The biggest hiccup: I waited too long to order coffee and my coffee dealer is in Florida for the holiday. I probably won’t have coffee for my first day back tomorrow. Here’s to hoping I get some before Thursday. That being said, y’all check out Kirbean’s coffee out. They ship. And they’re amazing. Support small business!

Part of my quandary regarding changes I want to make this semester is related to my physical fitness plans. I want to go to the high school around the corner from my job and jog their track and do some body weight exercises. But this will mean I will NOT be in a mood to walk my kid to the park when we get home, and she will not be happy about that. But I also need my time at home after that to shower, work on cleaning up my apartment, packing up my apartment little by little, and finishing a project I have to complete for my alternative teaching certificate program…as well as preparing future lesson slideshows during the week. We have gone to the park at least once a day since she has been off. Yesterday we went twice, but I drove the second time. I only walk it once a day. But I also had to break into my coffee dealer’s house on the way back for a shop vac…and some coffee for this morning. Cheers! (Psst! My coffee dealer happens to be my brother. He gave me the code to his house. No crime committed. Carry on.)

I also know that while I have this grandiose plan of getting up at 5 a.m. every morning with the use of one of my quiet alarms that doesn’t wake my kid up, realistically it will be a struggle on some days. I may need to set it at 4:45 a.m. so that my insomnia takes over and I convince myself to get up by the time 5 a.m. arrives. And other days my mind will cry and ask me why I have to get up so early and why are things so difficult for me. That’s the old “poor me” complex. The new me remembers how good I felt the times I got up and got things done early and will want to see that happen for a better foundation to my challenging days as a middle school teacher (my sister-in-law said middle school would be a good idea, I’m still questioning that 😉 ). The new me remembers that I’m not the only one that has things difficult. Some people out there still have babies that wake up at all hours of the night! Some people have to work overnight and try and sleep during the day (I had to do that for a brief period of time when I worked nights as a police officer. I don’t sleep in the daylight very well at all).

But now I am going to use this shop vac and then prep sandwiches for lunch at the park.